Still Waiting...

Life is quite interesting! You know that saying, Be careful what you wish for? Well, I am in the middle of discovering Be careful what you pray for! 

I know that God put it on my heart at a very young age (I think I started praying this when I was about 6 or 7) to pray over my purity and my life's journey through finding my husband. My prayer was always that I would not date anyone unless I knew that that person was my husband. I have never wanted to have a bunch of boyfriends nor have I ever wanted to just waste away my first kiss with someone whom I know is not going to last forever. Any time in my life that I have had feelings for a guy, God has blatantly slammed the door shut in my face. He truly has protected me throughout my life from making mistakes in the realm of dating. Now, I don't think that this path is for everyone. I know that God has instilled this in me from the time I was born, and that he has the perfect plan for my life. My husband is going to be AMAZING and definitely worth the wait.

That, however, is the problem. Waiting. Waiting is so hard when you are 25 and still haven't gone on even a first date! I am more than ready to meet the man of my dreams and settle into a beautiful life with him. I am ready to meet my husband and start our lives together... but I don't know when I will meet him and it is driving me crazy. Being patient and waiting for that perfect moment is one of the most difficult things I have done.

When I was finally asked out for the first time, I was really excited. I felt like I was finally going to be a normal...dating...person. But now I have not even heard from that person in a week and a half, and no date was ever set. I know in my gut and in my heart that he is not my husband. For this reason, I don't even know if I want to go on a date with him anymore. Part of me wants to just go out and have fun, but I don't want to get his hopes up when I know that it won't ever go beyond a first date. I don't want to compromise everything I have worked my entire life for just to "finally" go on my first date. I don't want to "get it over with" because I am anxious. The waiting is hard, but I know that compromising my life's journey because I am impatient would end in regret.

So...I am back to waiting. Still waiting. However, it WILL be worth the wait!

Worth the Wait

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

 

Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”

So...I thought that I would blog about my journey to finding my husband! I am feeling that I am going to meet him very soon (this summer, maybe?!). 

 

Back to the beginning: When I was a little girl, I began to pray that I would only begin dating when I met my husband. From a very young age, God put in my heart a deep sense of purity. I knew that He was going to protect me and keep me pure. I never wanted to be one of those girls who simply dated numerous guys. Beyond dating, I didn't ever want to start a relationship unless I knew that the guy was my future husband. Throughout my life, God has definitely kept His promises to me. The result, at times, was the enemy sneaking in and speaking lies to me. These lies were always in the form of, "You are not good enough," or "No guy is ever going to be or ever has been interested in you," or "There must be something wrong with you."  When I was in a low point emotionally, there were times that I would believe these lies. Most of the time I was strong; however, as I got older, it became harder to not believe that there was something wrong with me. All of my friends, including my sister, dated frequently (or at least semi frequently and guys at the minimum showed interest in them). I felt left out and somehow inferior.  By the time I graduated college, I was at a loss. 

 

Over the last few years, I have been on a journey of getting healthy (both emotionally and physically). I have grown leaps and bounds in who I am and KNOWING who I am. I feel confident in myself, and I feel as though I am, for the first time in my life, READY to get married. I feel ready to meet the man of my dreams...the man that God has been preparing for me. I am ready to settle down and begin the rest of my life with someone beside me to share in the joy and adventure every step of the way. I have led a pure and honorable life, and I know that God has prepared only the best for me! I know that a man who is honorable, loving, sweet, respectful, and nothing short of amazing is waiting and ready for me.

This brings me to...my first date!

First date: At 25, I am going on my first date ever!!! I am SO excited and yet really nervous all at the same time! I feel as though I have waited my whole life to meet someone. Even if this date goes no where beyond friendship, or even just beyond the date, I am excited to start the process of meeting my husband. I know that I am going to meet my husband soon. Whether he will be the guy I am going on my first date with, or someone I have yet to meet, I know it is going to be great! A whole lot of firsts are coming up and that is so new and exciting for me!

 

This song is a song that I wrote about 3 or 4 years ago. I was feeling as though my life was not very interesting and that I didn't have a story to tell others. God began speaking to me, and this song is the result. It is for my future husband, but I sing it as an encouragement that I WILL meet that perfect person for me! (I apologize for the quality of the video...it is not very good because it is only me on the piano and recorded with my Mac).  I would love to sing this at my wedding someday, but there is NO way I could make it through a song like this on my wedding day! Enjoy.

So...there you have it. I will continue to post my journey of finding the MAN OF MY DREAMS! I know that he will be amazing, and I am ready whenever God decides it is the perfect time! For now, I will just have fun dating and see where life takes me!

Come Alive

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
  Howard Thurman 

 

       This is the philosophy I have decided to live by. If we do not do things in life that make us come alive, then we are not living life to our fullest potential and those around us do not get the very best of who we are. I come alive when I am teaching, running, singing and playing the piano, and spending time with friends and family. I am happiest when I am doing these things. My world lights up. My goal during this next year is to start writing music again. I have a passion for writing and singing, and I greatly enjoy playing the piano. I want to live passionately and live how God wants me to live. God makes me come alive and has instilled these passions in my heart.  I am thankful for this season that I am in right now. I am happy and feel more alive than I have in years.

       So I challenge you to do what makes you come alive. Go after your dreams and don't be afraid to follow your heart. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

Race Day

Mile 16

THE FINISH LINE!!!

Daniel made it...Almost there!

The amazing angel runner that helped me cross the finish line! I could not have finished without him!!!

We rocked that race...finished! So proud!

The Accomplishment of My Life

       In life, there are always obstacles to push through, hurdles to jump over, and challenges that we don't think we can overcome, yet somehow manage. Running a marathon has proven to be one such challenge. From a very young age, I have loved to run. Many would say that I am crazy and that running is boring, exhausting, horrible, and the last thing they would be caught doing. For me, running is exhilarating, relaxing, a stress reliever, and one of my favorite times to talk to God. I love to escape life for a moment and go for a beautiful 6 mile run along the river trail. Running calms my soul and allows me to clear my body and mind of every day life and stress.
        One of my lifelong dreams and goals has been to run a marathon. I absolutely love running, so I have always thought, what better idea than to train and run 26.2 miles. Doesn't that sound thrilling and exciting? Little did I know, training for a marathon turned out not to be an easy task. I began training in July for this marathon. Soon after my official training began, I hurt my back and was unable to run for about three weeks. I was very frustrated because once I set my mind to something, I am going to finish it. I didn't want to give up so quickly. Barely able to walk, I was determined that my back would heal quickly and I would be back on track. I signed up for the Women's Nike half marathon in San Francisco. After a few weeks I was back on track with my training.
       After the half marathon, I kicked my training into high gear. I ran 6 miles about four times per week and ran a long run the weekends. I started my long runs at 10 miles and increased every weekend until I made it to 21 miles. About a week after the longest run, my knee started to hurt excruciatingly. I was not sure if I would be able to continue. I refused to give up! I was advised to stop running for at least a month, but I didn't have a month. Is three days enough? I stopped running for about three days and then was back in the swing of things...pushing through the pain. Whether this was due to my knee injury or something else, about three weeks before the race I hurt my left foot pretty bad (my right knee is the one that was injured). I thought I had a stress fracture in it. I am still not convinced that I don't, but I was determined not to give up. I was going to finish this marathon no matter what! I have been through so much these last few years that I felt as though this marathon was monumental in my life. There was something significant in me crossing the finish line in. I felt as though the finish line to the marathon was the culmination of hard work, perseverence and breakthrough. I have no way to describe the need I had to continue to train and finish this marathon, but I knew that quitting was not an option.
       Over the next few weeks, I took it "easy" on my body. I limited my running to about 3 or 4 times per week, and I significantly reduced the number of miles I was running per week. My foot started to feel better. I was able to walk on it pretty normally by race day. My knee felt nearly perfect, and I was pumped for the race!

                                                            RACE DAY!!!!

       The morning of my race, I was exhilarated! I felt ready, healthy, anxious (in a positive way), and excited to cross the finish line of my very first marathon. I was so thankful that I had a partner to run with...one that I had trained for hours and hours with. We both had injuries, but were both determined to do our very best and cross the finish line. Daniel was an amazing running partner and I greatly enjoyed training with him. He was encouraging, gracious (although I was not always gracious...he would always walk with me if I was having a rough time or in a lot of pain, but I did not always do the same for him! I am so sorry Daniel...so mean of me to leave you behind when you were hurting!!!), and fun to run with. We had a lot of great runs together, and a few not-so-great runs together.
      The drive on the bus to Shasta Dam was beautiful. The weather could not have been more perfect. The temperature was in the 50s the entire run. The race started promptly at 8am. We were off. The first 2.5 miles out of 3.5 miles was downhill. This was a perfect way to start a race. We were running at a great pace, feeling amazing. I was on my game that day. I felt amazing and was not in pain. Around mile five, I realized that I somehow lost Daniel and I could no longer see him. I knew I had two options: slow down and wait for him, or continue on and see him at the end of the race. Yep. You guessed it. I continued on and decided I would see him at the end of the race. I felt really bad, but I wanted to do my very best and I just made the decision to continue on at my current pace. Around mile 11, I was still feeling pretty good. My knee and my foot were both pretty sore, but I knew that I was going to finish the race and accomplish what I had worked so hard toward. Shortly after I hit mile 11, I came to the 4 miles of hills (up and downhill). When I made it to the top of the first hill, I realized that my knee and foot were starting to hurt pretty bad. I had to finish the race, so I made a decision right then that I would walk up all of the hills. I had ran the first 11 miles pretty quickly, so I had plenty of wiggle room in my time to walk up the hills. At the end of the last hill, I was at mile 15. I was hurting pretty bad at this point. The thought of still having to make it through 11 more miles was slightly daunting. I just kept telling myself, this is what I worked so hard for. Don't give up. You aren't dying. You can can do it! Once I hit the river trail, I was in so much pain that I decided to walk for a bit. The next 2 miles were a mixture of walking, running, and crying. When I was 0.5 miles from the diestelhorst bridge, I knew that I had to start running again because my family and friends were awaiting me there with cameras and cheering. I had to look strong (not like I was just going to finish the race crying and walking). I mustered up every bit of energy and willpower I could find and began running again. When I saw my dad and Daniel's dad I perked up a bit. I passed them and was refreshed once again when I saw family and friends cheering me on.
       I was able to continue running for about a mile past that point before I was forced to walk again. At this point, I had about 9 miles left to go. I ran as much as physically possible (oftentimes while crying and praying that I could make it), and then I walked when I simply couldn't handle the pain any longer. When I reached mile 22, I was walking for a bit. This group of 3 runners ran past me and then all three of them stopped and turned around. The older gentleman started immediately encouraging me and said, "This is what you have trained for. You have not come all this way to be walking at this point. You are running with us. We are running 10. 15 miles, so you can definitely keep up pace."
       I began running with them, despite the pain. It just felt good to have people to run with and they were all so nice. For a while, I didn't say much. They kept talking and I just tried to keep up with them. Then, I started walking because I didn't think that I could handle running. I really thought that my only option was to finish the last four miles walking. The man immediately told me that I was not allowed to walk. I started crying and he said that I could cry all I wanted, make noises, and do whatever I needed to do to push through, but I was NOT walking. I had come too far. We only had about three miles left at this point, but I was not feeling like I could make it. He was the sweetest guy. He said that I was his project and that he refused to leave me behind. He was constantly encouraging me...saying things like "you are amazing Rachel! You are doing it. Look at you! You are finishing this race! You are accomplishing something so great! You will finish." For the last four miles of my run, it was constant encouragement and positive comments. He literally would not let me stop and walk.  At one point, I started thinking, are these three angels? Does anyone else see them? No one is really THAT nice and encouraging, are they? Where did these people come from? Am I going to cross the finish line and no one else but me sees that they are there? It felt like a surreal moment. When we were about .75 miles from the finish line, the family of these 3 runners started shouting out, "Good job Rachel! You are amazing! You are almost there. You've got this. Keep going...you are doing great!" The two younger runners had gone ahead of us a bit (because I had tried to walk again and was encouraged/forced to start running again). They told their family to cheer for me. I couldn't believe it! They weren't even cheering for the amazing man I was running with...just me! Who does that? These people were unbelievably kind!
       That last mile was the hardest mile I have ever run. Despite the fact that it was only one mile, I literally did not think I could make it. If my angel runner had not been right there with me, I do not know that I would have had the strength to finish. He ran with me all the way to the finish line. We reached the Sundial Bridge. All I had left was to run across the bridge and I was done. I found every ounce of energy I could muster and ran across the bridge. I was still getting "You got this. We are there. This is it. You have survived!" in my ear to encourage me to continue running across the bridge. When we made it to the finish line, my angel running buddy said, "Ladies first" and had me cross the finish line before him. I did it! I accomplished one of the most difficult things of my life. I never imagined the run to be this difficult. I was amazed, thrilled, exhausted, astonished, nauseous, thankful, relieved, and beaming because I CROSSED THAT FINISH LINE! I accomplished a lifelong goal, and it felt amazing. I had so much support at the finish line: family and friends. I felt incredibly loved by my family of angel running buddies and all those who came to watch me cross that finish line. I have never been so proud to accomplish something in my life. I did it!
       After about 35 minutes, I was able to cheer loudly for Daniel and meet him at the finish line. He finished too! I am so proud of his accomplishments. He was in a tremendous amount of pain due to his ankle and didn't think he was going to be able to finish, but he persevered and finished strong! We both survived and have an amazing story to tell! Thank you Daniel for being so amazing and training with me. I enjoyed every moment and am so excited that we both ran a MARATHON! So huge!

       Will I ever do it again??? You bet! I LOVE to run, and I plan on running many more marathons in my future. I just pray that the next one will be done with no injuries!

Life...So Good...So Full...Loving Every Moment!

The Runyan/Droll Family : Myriah Grubbs

These are a few pictures from the family photo shoot we did a couple of weeks ago. I hope you enjoy.

So...I have been a really bad blogger, but I thought that I would try to be better in this new year. We shall see how that goes. Life can simply be so busy that I forget sometimes to take a moment to relax and record all of the amazing things that go on in life. 

Let me start with the MOST amazing thing that has happened as of late. Are you ready for it?! I AM TOTALLY and COMPLETELY healed of food allergies!!! About two months ago, I started thinking that I did not want to accept these food allergies as mine anymore. I started declaring out loud that in 2011 I would be healed completely of all 25 allergies. I didn't put a specific date on it, but I just knew that sometime in 2011 I would not be dealing with this issue anymore. I couldn't deal with this issue anymore. So, in November, I went to see West Side Story in San Francisco on a Sunday. Before we went, I helped lead worship with my brother and sister in law at their church. They were taking communion on that day. It dawned on me that it had been almost a year since I had taken communion because I was too afraid to eat the bread. On stage, I whispered this to Christina...and she said that this might be what would heal me (taking communion in faith). Well, I ended up leaving for San Francisco before taking communion, but a couple of hours later I got a text from Christina stating that she took communion for me and believed that I was healed. I did not have the courage to try any food at that time because I get incredibly sick from even one bite of food that I can't have.  After this moment, I began declaring my healing within two months. I truly believed that I would be healed within that time frame. On Christmas day, there was so much mouth watering food surrounding me, none of which I could eat. I decided to pray over my food and trust God that I would not get sick (the ultimate..."God bless this food to my body" moment). Typically, within 5 minutes of eating "bad" food I get severely dizzy. I ate something with cheese in it first, and milk was one of the worst foods on my list. No reaction. I ate some crackers and something with tomatoes in it. No reaction. I ate mashed potatoes and turkey with seasonings and yams and cheesecake and more. Again, no reaction! At this point, I was so excited, but also wondering if I was truly healed or if God was blessing me with one evening to eat normally with my family. The next day, I decided to be brave once again and ate everything that my family was eating (feeling very included rather than some outcast who always makes those around go out of their way simply so that I can find food that I can eat). No reaction. I am COMPLETELY healed of all allergies. To this day (it has been 15 days), I am allergy free. I am eating like a normal person, and having a blast eating whatever my heart desires! Thank you Jesus!!!

If you know me at all, you know that I like to keep a busy schedule. At times, "busy" may seem an understatement. Over the past 8 months or so, I have decided that I am going to live life differently. I needed to find quietness and stillness in my life. I discovered a love for reading that had been lost for years. I have poured over books and loved entering the fictional lives of some amazing characters. I have found stillness within myself by taking a few moments to be in the quiet and enjoy a good book. I try to read nearly every day to allow my brain to calm itself and take a break from some of the stresses of life. Reading is lovely and I am simply in love with books. I am currently reading the Chronicles of Narnia (I haven't read them since I was a little girl) and having fun adventures with Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy.

Another passion in life that I have pursued immensely in this season is running. I have been training for a marathon and have loved (nearly) every minute of it. I love running in the early morning with a deep chill in the air and fog over the river. Everything is so quiet and still and breathtaking in those moments. It is as if time is standing still. The longest run to date was about 21 miles. The worst run to date was a 16 mile run that I did without taking any Gu packets with me (I threw up for the first time since I was 3...it was BAD! I thought I was going to black out. The worst I have ever felt from exercise!). I have been training for a few months. I am really excited for the actual marathon in about a week. It is on January 16. I hope that I can achieve my goal of under four hours, but we shall see! I have been training with my friend, Daniel. We have had a lot of fun running together, pushing each other to be better, convincing one another we are not actually dying and that our bodies can go a little further, and allowing the discovery of the absolute limitations of our bodies. Training for a marathon has been challenging, exhilarating, frustrating, injuring, and one of the best things I have ever done!

My brother recorded his first album. Well, it was supposed to be a demo, but the quality is too good for it to be considered a demo. Not sure what to call it, but it is amazing! There are 5 songs on the cd. He wrote them all. Christina sings lead vocals on one song, and Elijah sings the other four. I sing backup on two of the songs, Christina sings backup on another, and Elijah sings alone on the fifth. You can find it on Itunes if you would like to check it out (under Elijah Runyan...One Desire). I am so proud of my brother. I hope to someday record a cd as well, but it is definitely a lot of work and takes a lot of time and money. On my life long to do list. I know it will happen someday.

Teaching is going well! I still absolutely love my job and am so thankful that I chose this profession. I can't imagine doing anything else. This is not to say it is without frustration at times, but I truly love my students and the challenge of helping them to learn every day and discover the wonderful world of mathematics (although most of them still think I am crazy and hate math...what can ya do?). I can't believe that my second year of teaching is half way over already. Life and time is just flying by. For goodness' sake, I am 25, in a career that I love, and so thankful for that fact.

Again...I am 25...still no boy in my life. I am looking forward to the day that a boy sweeps me off my feet and is absolutely in love with me (and me with him). I know that I have an amazing man in my future...I just wish that I knew who that amazing guy was! I have waited 25 years for my first kiss. I would love to have that happen before I am 26, but I am totally willing to wait for God's timing because I know that when it happens it will be amazing and with the man of my dreams. I would never want to settle simply because I have a desire to kiss a boy. I want it to be right and with my future husband. Who knows, but I do think that this year, 2011, is my year. I believe that this is the year I will meet (or discover) who my husband is. No matter what happens in 2011, I am determined to be happy. I am in control of my happiness level, and I will make sure that wherever life takes me, happiness is at the forefront. I love life. I love what I am doing in life. I have an amazing family and amazing friends who care for me and love me for all of who I am! I do not know what 2011 has in store for me, but I know it is going to be great! It has to be great because I am great and I am destined for greatness.

So...here is to 2011. One amazing year. One amazing life. Happiness. Fullness. Love. Mystery. Crazy times. Adventurous times. Peace. Rest. Restoration. My life. 2011 

Allergies!

So, I haven't posted in a while...but I thought I would blog about how I found out that I am allergic to almost everything!!! I am allergic to 25 things! It is totally crazy...and I feel oftentimes that I cannot eat anything. It is really hard to go out to eat, especially.
So...here is the list (I will try to remember everything)
Milk, all potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, pumpkin, radishes (who cares?), eggplant (gross), eggs, wheat, buckwheat, sunflower, safflower (used as an oil for pretty much anything pre-made), sesame, tomatoes (devastating), bell peppers, onion, garlic, cantaloupe, pineapple, millet (not a huge deal), almonds (so sad), walnuts, mustard, and 2 more I can't remember right now!

It has been really hard, but I am figuring out things that I can eat.  Sort of crazy, but oh well. I am moving out with a friend who took the same allergy test and figured out she is allergic to 23 things, and many of them are the same things I am allergic to. This will work out perfectly because we can eat weird together. I am really excited about moving out and living on my own again (well...with a roommate, that is). It will be great.