Still Waiting...

Life is quite interesting! You know that saying, Be careful what you wish for? Well, I am in the middle of discovering Be careful what you pray for! 

I know that God put it on my heart at a very young age (I think I started praying this when I was about 6 or 7) to pray over my purity and my life's journey through finding my husband. My prayer was always that I would not date anyone unless I knew that that person was my husband. I have never wanted to have a bunch of boyfriends nor have I ever wanted to just waste away my first kiss with someone whom I know is not going to last forever. Any time in my life that I have had feelings for a guy, God has blatantly slammed the door shut in my face. He truly has protected me throughout my life from making mistakes in the realm of dating. Now, I don't think that this path is for everyone. I know that God has instilled this in me from the time I was born, and that he has the perfect plan for my life. My husband is going to be AMAZING and definitely worth the wait.

That, however, is the problem. Waiting. Waiting is so hard when you are 25 and still haven't gone on even a first date! I am more than ready to meet the man of my dreams and settle into a beautiful life with him. I am ready to meet my husband and start our lives together... but I don't know when I will meet him and it is driving me crazy. Being patient and waiting for that perfect moment is one of the most difficult things I have done.

When I was finally asked out for the first time, I was really excited. I felt like I was finally going to be a normal...dating...person. But now I have not even heard from that person in a week and a half, and no date was ever set. I know in my gut and in my heart that he is not my husband. For this reason, I don't even know if I want to go on a date with him anymore. Part of me wants to just go out and have fun, but I don't want to get his hopes up when I know that it won't ever go beyond a first date. I don't want to compromise everything I have worked my entire life for just to "finally" go on my first date. I don't want to "get it over with" because I am anxious. The waiting is hard, but I know that compromising my life's journey because I am impatient would end in regret.

So...I am back to waiting. Still waiting. However, it WILL be worth the wait!